Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Second thoughts on a rainy night in Brazil by Rahal Eks

Second thoughts on a rainy night in Brazil by Rahal Eks

I never believed it is feasible to return - my motto has always been "moving forward" with strong overtones of "yalla/vamonos" - therefore the idea to coming back to a place where I had lived before in my past provoked mixed feelings before I actually arrived and definitely it keeps producing second thoughts ever since I'm here - and that on various levels and regarding multiple issues. It was another rainy gloom day and the night was the same. Only a moment ago it stopped raining. The air feels warm and wet, somewhat luke warm, and from the nearby Atlantic Ocean I can hear the waves crashing onto the rocks. Even the air has a salty taste. The sounds are mixed with distant music and probably football in action (the soccer version, not the American sport). For some reason there is hardly any car or bus traffic at this time. Somewhere across the water in the dark of night is the island, one of my former home bases on this planet. Itaparica, Mar Grande... But I doubt I'll take a trip across to check my memories against the current facts of reality - I've already had plenty to deal with concerning the gab of Salvador Bahia of my memories and the current state of affairs, dominated by high street crime, prostitution (straight & gay), and poverty.

The rain just started for another round, more intense than before. The idea to perhaps re-settle in this area or at least use it as a second base for an on-going part time gig, doing a fluctuating number between Europe and South America is definitely off my option list and plan B is being activated as an alternative. Whatever that may be!? Time will show.

A wet little mouse just tried to enter the room, but Afdhere heroically fought it off screaming and bashing something against the door... (he is very popular with the mosquitos too).

Only the other day I decided to delete my planetromeo profile and Grindr (I recently created both, yet in vain) - ever since I feel relieved and liberated from wasting time in virtual Goofey-Land battling off fetishists and virtual weirdos who indulge in "open relationships"... Even if I may sound old-fashioned I honestly prefer 3-D encounters to smell people out and hear their voices than dealing with short-hand communication in the style: age, location, nationality, top or bottom, what's your fetish, are you free now? It is the gist of the instant gratification culture, if I may use the term culture in this context at all - and in my eyes it represents one of the two great evils pestering our time: one is fossilized religious fundamentalism, the other the globalization of the world. Both are equally threatening to healthy diversity in a cultural and individual context. Like two sides of the same rusty coin.

Earlier today during a brief dry moment I went out for a stroll along the beach, armed with an umbrella. It looked gray and grim with threatening clouds building up on the horizon and only very few people out and about. While looking at the skyline of the now urbanized & touristic island I noticed a Brazilian man looking for something in the shallow water, the rocks and in the sand of the beach. Was he trying to catch a fish? It didn't look like it. He came closer and asked if I spoke the language.

"Yes, more or less!"

He proudly showed me a little coin.

"I'm looking for money and found already one coin!"

The man was young and poor. He wore a t-shirt with Arabic writing about the Egyptian Revolution, about freedom and change and I wondered when the Arab Revolution would reach these shores with full blast?

Would there be an "Occupy Brazil"?!

The gab between the few rich and the many poor is tremendous here and so is the issue of unresolved racism, at times subtle, at times blatant. On TV most people shown are white and one gets the idea as if someone is trying to sell you the fantasy that this country is not brown, black and most diverse...

The rain calmed down for the time being. I'm listening to Turkish Sufi music and for me it isn't really a surprise that the tolerant and harmonious Sufi Tradition is said to be most active in Latin America these days, with tekkias being build in various places and increased interest to enter the Sufi Path. I guess that's the good news with a positive future perspective, even if the present makes one wonder... But as we've heard before: "This too shall pass!"

Ishq bashad, saludos Rahal