Sunday, April 17, 2011

Queer & mainly migrant backgrounds "entre nous" & other oddities - by Rahal Eks


Somewhere over the rainbow in what certain people might consider an ideal country there exists a now quite elaborate queer association: diverse & multi-lingual - which started off as a group of game-playing and gossiping gays with a certain migrant and ethnic background, some lesbians and from time to time a few transgender folks. Well, those modest origins are long gone, the association in question expended its ethnic horizons to embrace other types and activities and in recent years made a number of multi-level quantum leaps. This was also reflected in increasing official funding for a number of projects. And things kept growing.

Digital art by Rahal Eks

"It sounds great, doesn't it?"

"What's the name of the association and in which country is this glory taking place?"

It really doesn't matter. All you need to know is: Queer & mainly migrant backgrounds somewhere in a European country. What matters is the level of bad "nafs", the commanding self in the sub-basement: Inhumane, aggressive, accusing, and with the doubtful charm of a concentration camp vibe. Yes, I'm somewhat sarcastic and disappointed, sad - not to forget my anger.

The enemy is not in our camp, but elsewhere - so why should we devour ourselves and fight each other? It makes no sense. Do we by any chance have a problem with diversity and different view points or opinions? And what about the basic problem of being human at this point in time?

Someone made a rather strange statement: "The brain of the association left and we were not informed!" Never mind the information part - but if this brain statement is true, said association would rather sound zombie-like, as if being a bunch of fascists mourning the departure of a "Führer-type" or crying after a leader Atatürk-style, and not hip queers with mainly migrant backgrounds fighting against discrimination and claiming our freedom and equal rights where a personality cult is not in vogue.

I mean really, the problem is somewhere else. And the ugly kid is called "Sul-king-Ego".

"Oh!"

"Yes, indeed!"

I mean really, wouldn't you think that people with certain somewhat mixed, "Oriental" or semi-Middle-Eastern roots would at least drum up an emotional fight when the shit hits the fan? No. Not in this case. The departing party declined any communication offers or fight possibilities and months later decided to drag their hurt egos into the general member assembly to dominate and block the scheduled program and throw arrows of intense hatred into the bewildered crowd. Had those folks involved in the original problem fought it out loud way back, right then and there, it would not have come to this somewhat perverted undercurrent of mega-aggression.

Things became quite surreal and unpleasant when certain people were surprisingly accused of racism and transphobia. Especially the latter was a perpetual and repeated hit. At least in some people's eyes, because they kept repeating themselves in a loop.

Now, I'm going to say a few lines some people will not like and it probably won't increase my popularity - but too bad, that's how the cookie crumbled and this needs to be said, frankly and freely: "There are people who take their situation of being transgender or lesbian or gay or bi or whatever it is as a perpetual excuse for their fucked-up-ness as human beings and demand "carte blanche" for their ego-crap, while refusing to even reflect on the possibility of a perhaps existing need to refining themselves - such folks are really tiring, exhausting like black holes sucking energy in a negative way.

I believe it should be possible to criticize a person for a possible shortcoming or fault without immediately being accused of being transphobe or homophobe or islamophobe or a racist. Such attitude is fanatical and sick. Instead of trying to communicate, to express true emotions, and aiming to maintain and establish a unity any queer org will only suffer from these battles of the "nafs", while it weakens the organization in the battle against all sorts of phobias.